The Great Parenting Escapade of 1971
by AV3NGERSL0V3R2811
Summary: Serena Woods and her best friends have to attend a Family Preparation class. What will happen when she is paired with the two people that hate eachother more than Lily Evans hates James Potter?
1. chapter 1

I don't own Harry potter!

 _Ms. Woods,_

 _The ministry of magic has ordered a new class to be put in the curriculum._

 _I wanted to warn you now. The Gryffindors are having a Family Class with the Slytherins. This is to promote house unity on my part. But your partners are already picked. You will be with Sirius Black and Severus Snape. I feel like I must explain to you about this class a little more._

 _Mr. Snape will take a potion that makes his age go down to five. You and Mr. Black will be his 'parents' for the school year. You will also have a baby appear around November. This one you will be able to name and it will look like both you, and Mr. Black. It will be like you are married and have your own child. You will be assigned a flat in the grounds and you will get a key. You will be paid in fake currency for going to class, and have to pay bills, clean, and buy stuff for your new home. All of the stuff you will need, such as clothing, food, and cleaning supplies are going to be in a store that muggles call 'Walmart' in Hogsmeade. If you can't take care of yoir children, you will fail the class and have to take one in the summer. If you do not attend class, you do not get paid. You can NOT use any of your own currency._

 _I do hope you are well._

 _Sencerely,_

 _Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_


	2. chapter 2

As soon as I read the letter from the Headmaster, I heard somebody enter my house by floo network.

I looked around the corner to see James and Sirius running towards my room.

James looked overjoyed, while Sirius looked less than pleased.

"Reena! Guess who I'm paired with! Guess!" James yelled once they entered the room. "You're paired with Lil-" He interrupted me before I could finish my scentence. "I'm paired with LILY!" He exclaimed excidedly, jumping up and down, Sirius however, turned to me with a _Sirius_ look on his face.(A/N, No pun intended)

"Why so serious, Sirius?" I asked with a smirk, "Don't want to marry me for a year?" Sirius smirked as I spoke, I put on my best hurt expression and his smirk fell.

"That's not what I meant." He mumbled, blushing. We were so caught up with our little conversation that we didn't notice when James slipped out.

"Snivellus." We both said at the same time. An equal amount of disgust in our tones. "What are we going to do?" I asked, grabbing a piece of parchment off my desk. I handed it to Sirius who then proceeded to rip it apart.

"What do you think it'll look like?"

"Snivellus dead on the couch."

 **A/N: had so much more to write, but I taught it would be best to introduce her other friendships and family in the next chapters!!**


	3. chapter 3

It was early in the morning when I heard arguing coming from the house next door.

'What could they possibly be arguing about at this hour??' I asked myself, I got out of bed as soon as I heard the door open.

I went downstairs to find a grumpy looking Sirius and a cheerful looking James.

"He wake you up again, Sirius?" I smirked, already knowing the answer. "Yes. Coffee?" He was barley awake.

I made us all coffee and we were sat at the table in the kitchen.

"What shall we do today?" I asked them, once we were completely awake, obviously.

Sirius sighed, "Well, we have about two days until September the 1st. We should probably go to Diagon Alley to get our books for the year."

"No!" Came a noisy reply from James, "We've talked about this, and we're not going to Hogwarts! I'm already sick of this rubbish about parenting classes!"

Shocked at the outburst, Sirius and I exchanged a glance that told me everything.

"James, who's the teach-" I was interrupted by another angry outburst from James.

"My Mother! Who else? I'll be hounded all year to be getting good grades and to not tease Snivellus and I'll have no freedom, Serena! None!"

"Well, we're still going to Hogwarts. But, if you go to Diagon Alley with me, I'll buy you whatever you want at Zonko's on our first Hogsmeade visit."

James' eyes lit up at that comment, he shot straight out of his chair with a look of excitement in his face.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's GO!"

_

 **Hai guys! Sorry it's been so long! I had some stuff going on with my family and then my dog got sick...**

 **Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter! I know I said that I would touch more on friends and family in this one, but I accidentally wrote it after they went to Diagon Alley. Whoops!**


	4. chapter 4

It was eleven by the time we got to Diagon Alley.

James insisted on floo calling Remus and Peter so they wouldn't miss out. Only to find that Peter 'couldn't make it'.

"It's okay Reena," James said a bit too enthusiastically, "You can be a replacement Peter!" I wrinkled my nose. I never really liked him much.

First, we went to Madam Malkins, to get robes. Then we went to Flourish and Blotts. Once we walked in, Sirius checked the list. Everybody had to get different books.

"Okay, so we need the Standard Book Of Spells: Grade Six..."

I grabbed two of each of the books we needed. That's when Sirius stopped.

"Sirius? What's wrong?" I asked as I ran into him.

"We need to contact Snape."

"What? Why Sirius?" I looked at the list, at the bottom, in tiny little letters, as if the person writing it was almost scared to write it.

You must only bring one copy of each parenting class book.

Lucky for us, Snivellus had just walked in.

"Hey Sniv-! Ouch!" Sirius was cut off by me pinching him.

"Hello Severus! How's your summer been?" I asked politely. "It was good until I got that letter from Hogwarts." He sneered, I already felt like punching him.

"Well, it says on the paper that we only need one copy of each book for class. So I was thinking, to make life easier for you, I'll take care of the books." I offered, dying inside as I said it.

Snape looked up in surprise.

"This isn't some kind of prank, right?"

"Of course not, Severus. I just figured that, since you have more classes than me..." I trailed off, hoping he'd get the point.

"Okay then. I guess you can buy them of you want to"

I smiled at him nicely. "Okay. See you at school, Severus!" I said in a fake cheerful tone, hoping he didn't notice.

As Snape walked away, the trio of boys walked up behind me. Each looking more skeptical than the next.

"What was that?" Asked a bewildered Sirius, whose eyes were wide.

"I just figured that we should be nicer to him. You know, since he's our partner." I answered, glaring at him, "You should all make an effort. We have to deal with them all year long t hos year"

I walked away, to the next store. I turned around and smirked when I saw that they were following. I had these boys wrapped around my finger.

_

 **Hi! I got this one half done today so I decided to finish it and update! Hope you liked the chapter!**


	5. chapter 5

After buying our stuff at Diagon Alley, James and Sirius dropped their stuff at the Potters and came to my place.

It was August 31st. Tomorrow we were going to school.

"D'you think we'll have to get with our groups tomorrow, or when we have the class? James asked excitedly.

"Oh I hope not! I don't think that I can deal with Marlene tomorrow!" Remus piped up. The full moon he's been the day prior. And Marlene was loud. Especially for his enhanced sences before and after his transformations.

"At least you guys don't have Snivellus." Sirius pointed out. "Yeah. I'm already irritated and we haven't even gotten-" I was cut off by a knock at the door.

"I'll get it."

I stood up and walked to the door as I heard a car driving away. I opened the door to a weeping Lily Evans.

Her clothing had fallen out of her trunk, the latch was broken and it looked like it had been thrown. I debated on calling the others, but decided against it. I didn't think James being there would help any.

"Lills! Are you alright?" I asked as I ran over to her. I pulled her in for a hug and she dried her tears.

"What happened?"

Lily hung her head. "Petunia offered to drive me here because my parents won't be home tomorrow. Then she pushed me and my stuff out of the car and knocked and l-l-left!"

She started sobbing again. 'Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.' I called for James.

HE came out and his hazel eyes went wide. Lily had stopped crying now and was struggling to lift her broken trunk.

"Lily, are you okay?" He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. That boy really needed to get them adjusted.

He took the trunk from Lily and hugged her. "C'mon. Let's go inside," I said, hugging her shoulders. "We can play a game."

We went inside where I had a great idea. "I have the best idea ever!" I said excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Okay okay. Since we're having a sleepover-"

"Who said we're having a sleepover?" Sirius interrupted.

I shot him a look.

"Ooh a sleepover!!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Let's play two truths and one lie!"

James looked like he wanted to argue. But he saw Lily's eyes light up and shut his mouth.

Once everybody was talked onto it*cough* Sirius *cough, I went first.

"Okay okay," I think very loud, "Got it!"

"Okay. Number one, I went to a muggle school until I was ten. Two, all if the boyfriends that I've had were niggles. And three, I've kissed Snape." I said, smirking at Sirius' look of disgust.

"You haven't kissed Snape!" Sirius shouted.

"Wrong."

"What??" Was the charming reply from James.

I laughed. "Don't you guys know anything?" Lily cut in.

"We were in the same school for five years. Reena was bullied horribly. Little miss goodie two shoes over herekissed Snape over a dare in third year." She stopped to take a breath and looked at me. I nodded. Knowing what she was about to say next, I braced myself.

"Serena Woods' first boyfriend was Regulus Black. They started dating in January the 21st and broke up seven weeks ago. Also the day that Sirius ran away." She finished.

The boys looked from me, to Lily. Shocked. As if waiting for me to confirm.

"It's all true. Reg was a really good kisser. Sniv, not so much."

We spent the rest of the night playing games. Sirius not making eye contact with me once, until my mother told us to go to bed at 2:00 am. (Hehe)


	6. chapter 6

It was almost like I blinked and it was time to get up.

James, Sirius, and Remus were the last to get up, as they came out when breakfast was ready.

Once breakfast was over, we took the Knight Bus to Kings Cross.

At platform 9 3/4, we ran into Peter. He seemed a bit pale.

"Hey guys, how was Diagon Alley?" He asked, nervous.

The boys caught up as me and Lily found a place to sit.

We all piled in a compartment and played exploding snap. We were on the sixth round when there was a knock at the door.

"Can I talk to Serena?" A voice asked. I immediately recognized it as Regulus Black.

Sirius stood up and glared at Regulus. "No. She doesn't need to be mixed with your kind." He growled, suddenly angry.

"Sirius, it's okay," I said as Regulus opened his mouth to argue. "I can handle him for a few minutes."

I walked out of the compartment with Reg and went to an empty one.

"Okay Reg. What do you-" I was cut off by his lips. 'Regulus is kissing me!' I thought. But of course I decided to respond by kissing him back.

Now you may be thinking a variety of things. Such as, why did you kiss him back Serena? I thought you were smart! But, don't jump to conclusions.

So, after our 'brief make out session, he started crying.

Yes, crying.

"I'm so sorry Serena. I didn't want to break up with you! He made me." He looked terrified to tell me this.

"Who, Reg?"

"The Dark Lord."


	7. chapter 7

Regulus was terrified. "Listen, you can't tell anybody about this! You can't..." He trailed off. I nodded

"Nobody will find out." I promised.

We said goodbye and parted ways. I wanted to go back to the compartment, but that's not where I went.

Instead, I went to the Ravenclaws. My friends were all weird. But Xeno Lovegood was probably the weirdest.

He was talking with Pandora when I walked in.

He was wearing the usual Hallows pin. But was without his glasses.

"Ooh Reena! I got my eyes fixed! I can see without my glasses! It's so much easier when looking for Crumple Horned Snorkacks!"

I giggled and nodded.

Pandora smiled at me. She looked to be concentrating on Xeno's hands. She was a seer.

"Are you okay, Serena? You seem bothered." She seemed genuinely concerned for me.

"I'm fine Pan. Just tired." I gave her a look that said we'll talk later.

I sat with them until the announcement came on the speakers to prepare for the train stopping in Hogsmeade. Then I went back to my Gryffindors.

"-where she went. You don't think he killed her?" James was saying.

"Reg didn't kill me guys! I'm right here." I scared Pete and turned James red in one sentence. I was on a roll!

"Where did you go Reena?" Lily asked, her eyebrows raised suggestivley.

I sighed, "I went to see Xeno and Pandora and sat with them up until the announcement."

She looked skeptical, but put the matter to rest.

"It's time to go to Hogwarts."

_

After the sorting ceremony and the feast, we were sent to our Dormitories for the night.

Before I could go up the steps for Ravenclaw Tower, I was stopped.

"Come with me Ree." I heard Regulus say, grabbing my hand.

He led me to the fifth floor corridor. He suddenly stopped and moved past one spot three times.

When a door showed up, I was a bit more than surprised.

He took me in to the room. It had a couch and a fireplace. It looked like the common room. But it was a lot nicer.

"So, I assume you want to hear my story?" Reg said with a grimace.

"Shoot."


	8. AN

Hey I didn't abandon fan fiction! Sorry about the lack of chapters on all of my fanfics! I've been really really busy lately and I had started watching Supernatural in June. If you haven't watched it I would suggest you do. It's really good.

I've decided to change up the chapters a bit because I've gotten a little bit better at writing and if anyone says anything about my writing (good or bad) I get really embarrassed!

So I'm going to do this this weekend hopefully! I'll try my best to update as much as I can from now on. I don't want to set a schedule at anything because I don't want the chapters to be too rushed!

I'll update the chapters as soon as I can guys!

Love, Av3ngerslov3r!


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